Cant express my Love

A Sad Love Story telling us not to be afraid of expressing our Feelings.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Sam. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl.

“Sam, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked, “I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No.... I am going to meet a friend.

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 50 days...100days... Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why...

Then one day...
Me: Um, Sam, I ...
Sam: What...don’t drag, just say...
Me: I love you....
Sam: ...you.....um..., just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday filled my room, one by one. There were many...

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Sam
Sam: Here...take this...
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Sam: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Sam: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad; I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted... “Wait...”
Sam: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me; tell me you love me...
Sam: What?
Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say...that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, and then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb... and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily... How could he... I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday.
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street... with another girl... He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he give these to me... Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls...In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that... it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Sam: penny, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual...
Me: I don’t need it.
Sam: What....why...
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.

Then

Honk” Honk”
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Sam! Move! Move away!” I shouted... But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Sam, move!” HONK~!!  “Boom!”  That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him... and after spending days like a crazy person... I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days... when we were in love...

“One...two... three...” That was how... I started to count the dolls...
“One hundred and forty one... one hundred and forty two...” It all ended with 142 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls, shocked.

“I....love...you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I...love you... Why didn’t I realize that....That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he loves me this much... I took out the doll under the bed and pressed its stomach that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much.

“penny...Do you know what today is? We have loved each other for 143 days. Do you know what 143 is? I couldn’t say I love you.... Um... since I was too shy... If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die... penny... I love you...”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...

For that... and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life....

Salty Coffee

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.

They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my home town, I miss my home town so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her far away hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince and then they were living the happy life...

And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:" My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt it was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication!

I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again". Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?

.

.

.

.

 It's sweet. She replied.

Mother Loves to Infinity

My mom only had one eye.

I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me, I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, "Ewww, your mom only has only one eye.
I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear, so I confronted her that day and said, “If you're only going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die…

My mom did not ...respond
I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger, I was oblivious to her feelings, I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to abroad to study
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. .I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my mother .came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.
When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited,
I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW
And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my .house in Singapore, so I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip

After the reunion,

 I went to the old shack just out of curiosity
My neighbors said that she died
I did not shed a single tear
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

My dearest son," I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your children
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion, but I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.

As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having .to grow up with one eye, so I gave you mine
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my .place, with that eye
,with my love to you

Your mother…!!!

True Love

I Believe That Someone, Somewhere is waiting 4 me, just 4 me
 

Girl: Will you pick me up if I ever fell down?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you wipe away the tears when I’m sad?
Boy: Never.
Girl: Will you still love me when I look my worst?
Boy: Nope.
Girl: At least you’re honest …
 

Boy: I wouldn’t pick you up if you fell because I would catch you before you even hit the ground. I wouldn’t wipe away your tears because I’ll make sure there’s nothing for you to ever be sad about. I wouldn’t love you when you look your worst because that’s impossible. You always look you’re best, even when you think you don’t. I love you more than anything, remember that.

Blind Faith

He was a young boy who lived with his elderly mother. His mother wanted him to learn how to play the piano because she longed to hear her son play for her. She sent her son to a piano teacher who took Smith in under her guidance.

However, there was one small problem because Smith was not musically inclined and therefore was very slow in learning.


The teacher did not have much faith in the boy because of his weakness. The mother was very enthusiastic and every week she would send Smith to the teacher.


One day Smith stopped attending the piano lessons. The teacher thought that he had given up and in fact she was quite pleased since she did not give much hope to Smith. Not long after, the piano teacher was given the task to organize a piano concert in town. She sent out circulars to invite the students and public to attend the event. Suddenly, she received a call from Smith who offered to take part in the concert. The teacher told Smith that he was not good enough and that he was no longer a student since he had stopped coming for lessons.


Smith begged her to give him a chance and promised that he would not let her down.


Finally, she gave in and she put him to play last, hoping that he will change his mind at the last minute. When the big day came, the hall was packed and the children gave their best performance. Finally, it was Smith's turn to play and as his name was announced, he walked in. He was not in proper attire and his hair was not properly groomed.


The teacher was really nervous since Smith's performance could spoil the whole evening's brilliant performance.


As Smith started playing the crowd became silent and was amazed at the skill of this little boy. In fact, he gave the best performance of the evening. At the end of his presentation the crowd and the piano teacher gave him a standing ovation. The crowd asked Smith how he managed to play so brilliantly.


With a microphone in front of him, he said, "I was not able to attend the weekly piano lessons as there was no one to send me because my mother was sick with cancer. She just passed away this morning and I wanted her to hear me play. You see, this is the first time she is able to hear me play because when she was alive she was deaf and now I know she is listening to me. I have to play my best for her!"




When you have a passion and a reason to do something, you will surely excel. You may not be talented or gifted but if you have a strong enough reason to do something, you will be able to tap into your inner God given potential.